Mastering Coach-Athlete Communication
Five tips to start and maintain good relationships between coach and athlete
We’ve all heard that all relationships rely upon regular, high quality communication, and the coach-athlete relationship is no exception. In fact, other than the primary relationship in your life and your immediate family, your coach may be the person who knows the most about your life, your goals, your fears, and your dreams. For coaches, your athletes—even though they are probably customers—will make up a close circle of acquaintances. These connections are valuable on a personal and professional level, and maintaining them should be a priority for both coach and athlete. Today we’ll talk about ways to do just that. A good coach-athlete relationship is a collaboration, not a dictatorship, and all of your work should aim towards that eventual goal.
First, though, we want to identify some approaches that will torpedo the communication between athlete and coach. At Campfire Endurance Coaching, we’ve always strived to avoid these pitfalls, as poor communication leads to poor results, and poor results lead to high athlete turnover, which leads to business failure (or, at least, not delivering on your mission statement, if it has anything at all in it about being athlete-centered).
The No-Contact Coach. One of our athletes says that in a previous coaching relationship, they would leave comments in TrainingPeaks that said “Is there anyone actually reading this?” to see if they would get a response. Nothing says you don’t care about your athletes and their development more than ignoring them. Is there really anything else to say about this? Don’t ignore your athletes. Athletes, don’t ignore your coaches, but if you’re doing that...well, we don’t think we can save that relationship.
The “Just Do As I Say” Coach. “Trust the Plan” has, unfortunately, become code for “Just stop bothering me.” Coaches can sometimes interpret athlete questions or concerns as a lack of trust, but it’s important to remember, coaches, that you are an expert in your field with A LOT of information that is now just part of your basic knowledge. What sounds like a challenge may be interest, so when you feel compelled to shut down communication by saying “Trust the plan” take a breath and do some educating instead.
The Absentee Landlord. Similar to No-Contact, but this coach sets up a plan and then sends notes from afar: “Lemme know how the block went” is not coaching, it’s plausible deniability and an abdication of coaching responsibility!
The Smoke-Blower. If you are dishonest with your athletes (even in an “encouraging” way) they will eventually recognize that tendency and lose their trust in you. As with any relationship, if you don’t trust each other you don’t have anything. Make sure to set challenging but achievable goals for your athletes and then hold them accountable to those goals (remembering that renegotiating goals is also OK, as long as there is a conversation about it). Athletes—if your coach keeps telling you that you can do something you know that presently you cannot, you might want to look for a new coach.
The Athlete-Led Coach. Similar to the Smoke-Blower, but this coach finds a way to agree with their athlete about everything. This is VERY difference from “Athlete-Centered,” to be clear. The result is a program where the athlete does what they want to do and the coach justifies that decision. The result is a co-dependent coaching relationship where the athlete simply does what they’ve always done and the coach makes them think that that’s progress. That kind of coaching usually leads to the same results the athlete has always achieved.
OK, negative coach archetypes established, let’s get into five tips for improving communication between coaches and athletes.
Don’t Make Assumptions About Your Athletes
We all know the saying about what assuming can do, and all of us at Campfire have made asses of ourselves at one point or another because of it. Athletes are humans, which means their moods and goals can fluctuate on any given day. Coaches, be careful of coming up with a set identity for your athletes, like “Alistair is dedicated most of the time, but whenever work gets busy he stops doing his training,” or “Cassie clearly doesn’t believe in the workouts I’m prescribing her,” or “I would be surprised if Jim actually signed up for Ötillö.” The problem with assumptions is that you are taking some real-world data (what an athlete says or does) and then layering your own judgments and beliefs on top of that information. The result is something that is neither your athlete’s or your creation, and isn’t actually true for either of you. NOT a good place from which to make decisions, and an excellent place for miscommunication.
Be Curious and Non-reactive
Your next step, after not making assumptions, is to be curious about what your athletes are saying and doing. If you’ve followed the point above and held off making assumptions about your athletes, you’re in a great position to be curious. Try using phrases like “Tell me more about that decision,” or “How did you get there?” Make sure that your curiosity doesn’t sound like sarcasm, which communicates a different meaning to your athletes. Hand in hand with curiosity is avoiding reactivity with your athletes. If an athlete has done something different than what you had intended, it is very likely NOT about you as a coach. Much more likely is that there are a set of circumstances that make following the plan not possible for the athlete at that moment, and your job is to find and illuminate those circumstances so the athlete can see them. If you react defensively, however, and think that the athlete is judging you and your coaching by making a different choice than what was on the plan you will only make your athlete defensive in return. Now communication is much more difficult, with each army setting up positions in each camp. Not a good model for collaboration.
Create Systems for Several Types of Contact
When we polled Campfire athletes about their communication preferences, the loudest message we heard was that they valued being able to communicate with their coaches in a variety of ways: TrainingPeaks workout comments, email, phone/video conference, and text message. At Campfire we use scheduling software where athletes can book phone calls with their coaches, and we have standards for reply times, which are:
A coach will respond to an athlete’s TrainingPeaks workout comment in one business day
A coach will respond to an email within 24 hours
A coach will do their best to respond to a text message that day (but there are boundaries to this one—coaches have lives and workouts too)
Athletes can sign up for 45 minutes of phone contact once a week
Setting up clear parameters for contact tells the athlete that communication is a priority for you, and they know that they can get a hold of you in several different ways. Communication systems suggest that you as a coach are professional and deploy different methods for different athletes, which will widen the number of clients you can attract. The biggest upside? By opening several avenues of information, you learn more about your athlete, which will only make you a better coach.
Listen, Empathize, Plan, and Protect Yourself
Athletes go through tough patches, and you will be one of the people they reach out to when they pass through those patches. If you want to avoid being an athlete-led coach (see above), it’s important to recognize your role in this situation. First of all, you are not a counselor or a trained mental health professional, so if an athlete is in a situation outside your scope of care, it’s important to recognize that fact and ask them if they have access to that kind of resource. Having determined that you are talking about a coaching-related issue, you should listen to the athlete’s situation, empathize with them, and then make a plan to help the athlete through the rough patch. One of our athletes says “I had a micro meltdown this summer. I was four weeks out from IM Madison and just mentally couldn't do the training anymore. I had just come back from what had been a punishing and unsatisfying long ride when I texted my coach to ask if we could connect. We were on the phone 12 hours later, talked through what was happening, came up with a plan, and moved on. The expeditious nature was part of the value, surely, but the better piece was not getting wrapped up too much in the why it happened, and focusing more on what to do in the moment. Having a plan of how to move forward brought me back to earth and pulled me back a bit from the ledge.” Your role in these situations is to provide a sounding board for your athlete’s situation, and then to take the lead and offer some direction, since athletes can spin around in one place for a while. Finally, make sure you protect yourself—empathy is a powerful thing to offer someone, and you need to make sure that you don’t become a permanent and ongoing sounding board for your athletes. Draw clear boundaries around communication and your athletes will have better outcomes.
Motivate but Hold Accountable
Athletes sometimes need help with motivation, and during those moments it can be appropriate to give your athletes a pep talk, reminding them of what they have set out to do, that the path is long, but that the outcome will be worth it. You will spend some amount of time pointing out to them reasons to be confident (but don’t become The Smoke-Blower, above!) and appealing to their sense of excitement and vision. You will be a cheerleader, from time to time, in other words. But if an athlete always needs encouragement, the relationship is heading in a bad direction. Athletes need to come into the sport with their own intrinsic motivation (part of your job might be uncovering that motivation for them), and if they rely upon you to furnish that for them you will run out of steam at some point. One way to make sure that they stay motivated is to return ownership of the process to them by holding them accountable to the goals they established when they began working with you. If an athlete has told you that she wants to qualify for Kona but has been shortening her long rides by half, you probably won't be able to cheerlead that athlete to doing what she needs to do to be successful. Holding someone accountable, although it can feel tough at first, is a huge gift for your athlete. It reminds them that only they are responsible for their achievements, and the people around them (coaches, family, training partners) are simply buttresses to their actions. If an athlete learns that lesson and integrates it into their life, then you, my friend, are Coach of The Year.
CONCLUSION
In wrapping up, we can summarize these tips fairly easily: make communication a priority and make it possible via several avenues; be patient and curious with your athletes, remembering that no one knows them better than themselves; keep your assumptions to yourself and delight when your athletes surprise you and defy your assumptions; learn how to empathize but offer solutions, and then hold your athletes accountable to those solutions (if they decide they like those solutions, of course!). Communication is hard, but it is the bedrock skill of great coaches—without it, you literally have nothing.